I don't know if these are for real, but they sure are funny anyway!
1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
10. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
11. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
12. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
13. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
14. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
15. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
16. War Dims Hope for Peace
17. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
18. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
19. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
21. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
22. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
23. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
24. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
25. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
26. Steals Clock, Faces Time
27. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
28. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
29. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
30. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
31. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
32. Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday
33. Specialist: Electric Chair Can Be 'Extremely Painful'
34. Plenty Do Do Here For Local 'Tourists'
35. Man Told To Get License So It Could Be Suspended
36. Blame Flies As Talks Deadlock
37. Animal Rights Group To Hold Meeting At Steakhouse
38. Gas Company Behind Bean Supper
