Church Bulletin Bloopers
Thursday night pot luck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Don't let worry kill you. The church will help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.
"Weight watchers will meet at 7 pm. Please use large double door at the side entrance."
"Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones."
"The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir."
"Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their baby."
"The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church."
"The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done."
"The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning."
"The congregation is asked to remain standing until the end of the recession."
"Ushers will eat latecomers."
Evening massage will be at 6 p.m.
The third verse of "Blessed Assurance" will be sung without musical accomplishment.
The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing "Break Forth in Joy".
Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "Its a Terrible Experience".
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend the tragedy.
The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano which as usual fell upon her.
A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
Today's sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday.
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the Congregation will join in.
The next song will be "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
The Associational Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I've Upped My Pledge--Now Up Yours."
The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6:00 p.m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, and bread will be served for a nominal feel.
"The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water". The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus".
"Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get."
"Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons."
"Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days."
"Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."
"Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch."
"The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility."
"This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin."
"The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict."
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
"A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife."
"Stewardship Offertory: Jesus Paid It All."
In the church bulletin during the minister's illness: "God is Good! Dr. Hargreaves is better."
Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
The agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved... the financial secretary gave a grief report.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
Wise Up, O Men of God. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister, the Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.
The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth
