Misheard Lyrics Of
Popular Christmas Songs

"Gloria, in eggshells these days, oh"
—"Angels We Have Heard On High"

"The cattle are glowing"
—"Away In A Manger"

"And a plate of old lambs fry"
—"Auld Lang Syne"

"Should old Aunt Quaintance be forgot"
—"Auld Lang Syne"

"Deck the halls with Boston Charlie"
—"Deck The Halls"

"Tis the season to eat jelly"
—"Deck The Halls"

"Don B. Nowert's gray apparel"
—"Deck The Halls"

"Follow me in metric measure"
—"Deck The Halls"

"See the blazing mule before us"
—"Deck The Halls"

"See the blazing U.B. Forest"
—"Deck The Halls"

"See the blade sing 'You'll be for us'"
—"Deck The Halls"

"Strike the heart, enjoy the florist"
—"Deck The Halls"

"Hosanna in egg shells is"
—"Ding Dong Merrily On High"

"Please not be dots"
 —"Feliz Navidad"

"The least snotty duck"
—"Feliz Navidad"

"At least Mommy mops"
—"Feliz Navidad"

"The three smelly dogs"
—"Feliz Navidad"

"Frosty the snowman is a ferret elf, they say"
—"Frosty The Snowman"

"Get dressed, ye married gentlemen, let nothing through this May"
—"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

"To save us all from Satan's Tower when we had gone astray"
—"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

"O the Tide cleans like Comet and Joy"
—"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

"Good King Wence's lass looked out on the feet of Stephen"
—"Good King Wenceslaus"

"Good king wants his applesauce at the feast this evening"
—"Good King Wenceslaus"

"Where the dough lay round about, deep-pan, crisp and even."
—"Good King Wenceslaus"

"Hark, The Harold Agency"
—"Hark, The Herald Angels Sing"

"Glory to the New York king"
—"Hark, The Herald Angels Sing"

"With the jelly toast proclaim, Christ is born in Bethlehem"
—"Hark, The Herald Angels Sing"

"I don't know if there'll be snow, but have a cup of cheese"
—"Have A Holly Jolly Christmas"

"Bells on cocktails ring, making spare ribs bright"
—"Jingle Bells"

"Oh, what fun it is to ride on one horse, soap, and sleigh"
—"Jingle Bells"

"Let every heart prepare a broom and having a manger scene"
—"Joy To The World"

"He rules with Ruth and Grace"
—"Joy To The World"

"O come, all ye faithful, joyful and try often"
 —"O Come, All Ye Faithful"

"Sing in eggs all stationed"
 —"O Come, All Ye Faithful"

"O atom bomb, O atom bomb"
 —"O Tannenbaum"

"Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
—"Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"

"You'll go drown in Listerine"
—"Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"

"He's making a list, chicken and rice"
—"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

"He'll seize you when you're sleeping"
—"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"

"Round John Virgin, mother and child"
—"Silent Night, Holy Night"

"Sleep in heavenly peas"
—"Silent Night, Holy Night"

"City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in Hollandaise sauce"
—"Silver Bells"

"Let's take the rugby forest and sing a cortisone stew"
—"Sleigh Ride"

"On the first day of Christmas, my tulip gave to me..."
—"The 12 Days Of Christmas"

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a poached egg in a pear tree"
—"The 12 Days Of Christmas"

"On the worst day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a par bridge in a bare tree"
—"The 12 Days Of Christmas"

"Ten lawyers leaving, nine lazy Hansons"
—"The 12 Days Of Christmas"

"Seven warts on women, six geezers laying"
—"The 12 Days Of Christmas"

"Danny Partridge in a pear tree"
—"The 12 Days Of Christmas"

"And a cartridge in a pantry"
—"The 12 Days Of Christmas"

"Chipmunks roasting on a open fire"
—"The Christmas Song"

"Bjorn is the king of Israel"
—"The First Noel"

"Barney's the king of Israel"
—"The First Noel"

"We three kings of oil and tar tried to smoke a rubber cigar"
—"We Three Kings"

"We three kings of porridge and tar, burying gifts we traveled afar"
—"We Three Kings"

"Glorious, now behold hemorrhoids"
—"We Three Kings"

"Oh, bring us a bag of goodies and bring it out here"
—"We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

"Haste, haste to Brigham Young; the Babe was one of the Yankees"
—"What Child Is This"

"Haste, haste to bring Him love, the Babe, the son of Mary"
—"What Child Is This"

"In the meadow, we can build a snowman and pretend that he is partly blind"
—"Winter Wonderland"

"Two fish on a plate, we wish that we ate"
—"Winter Wonderland"

"We'll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman until the alligators knock him down"
—"Winter Wonderland"

"Walkin' round in women's underwear"
—"Winter Wonderland"