"Inquiring Minds Want To Know"

"You've seen how the laddie carries himself today, now that he's smurfed a taste of being alone with Smurfette for a week as a married couple, Tapper?" Duncan asked.

"Every Smurf in the village has noticed this change in demeanor with Empath, my fellow Duncan," Tapper said. "Of course, you with your particular sense of smell could tell that Empath has enjoyed that intimate company over the past week."

"How could I not tell by the way that he smells lately?" Duncan said. "It's like he's now the proud owner of the greatest treasure in all of Smurfland, and he can smurf with it whatever he wants because it all belongs solely to him for his pleasure."

"No doubt every adult male Smurf must be wondering what it was like for Empath to enjoy something that he alone is privy to with Smurfette," Tapper said.

"Aye, there are just some things that the Imaginarium can never be a smurfy substitute for, my dear boy," Duncan said.

"Not that what anybody does in the Imaginarium as far as their personal fantasies are concerned are anyone else's business to know about, Duncan, but now that Smurfette belongs solely to Empath as his wife, it would make any of the adult Smurfs think twice about engaging in such a fantasy setting with her as part of it," Tapper said.

"Hefty's been smurfing the whole thing surprisingly well, which is more than what I was expecting of him since he had his heart smurfed on marrying Smurfette, and he just smurfed up his heart for Smurfette so she could feel love again when Chlorhydris smurfnapped her and smurfed out her heart," Duncan said.

"I still feel a bit of sorrow for him, Duncan, that something that he had smurfed his sights upon is no longer available to him," Tapper said. "I pray that the Almighty will comfort his heart and lead him to someone who will smurf him the happiness that he desired to have with Smurfette."

Just then, Empath had entered the tavern. "Salutations, my fellow Smurfs," he greeted. "So what have you two been smurfing about?"

"Just smurfing about that wonderful glow you seem to be smurfing now that you are a married Smurf, and the scent that I have been smurfing from you now, Empath," Duncan said.

"You must mean how this smurf is now that this smurf has had his hat smurfed by Smurfette, if every Smurf insists on using that term," Empath said.

"That's one way of putting it, Empath," Tapper said. "However, since having intimacy with Smurfette is now your privilege as a married Smurf, you are under no obligation to ever reveal how those private moments with her have been to anyone else who will ask you about it."

"Michty me, you don't want to hear any of the details of how the laddie enjoyed his time with Smurfette?" Duncan asked, sounding incredulous.

"I will not follow in the footsmurfs of my Papa Smurf when he used to be the Smurf who ran this tavern, Duncan," Tapper insisted.

"This smurf senses from your memories that Uncle Seamus was a bit intrusive and a pervert when it comes to wanting to know the intimate actions of his fellow Smurfs and Smurfettes, Tapper," Empath said.

"Uhhhh, I think his interest in that area had smurfed beyond the proper boundaries of a good bartender, Empath," Tapper said with some disgust. "My Mama Smurf would seem to think that smurfing under someone's hat is all my Papa Smurf really cares about, as well as how often the married couples are smurfing it with each other."

"Ah, his Papa Smurf's just acting like a real McSmurf, Empath," Duncan said. "My Papa Smurf always says there's nothing like smurfing a good Smurfette for a wife to bring out the real Smurf in you. I can't help Tapper if he wants to be so squeamish about asking those sort of questions of you."

"Well, I'd rather be led by the Spirit of the Almighty than be led by my hormones, if it's all the same to you, Duncan," Tapper said.

"To be honest, it's rather hard for this smurf to know whether to share how being alone with Smurfette as a married Smurf really was without feeling that I'm revealing something that should be smurfed exclusively in private, Tapper," Empath said. "This smurf does love Smurfette, perhaps even more so now than ever before, and this smurf doesn't want to smurf anything that would jeopardize what we have smurfing on together now."

"I don't think this is something you can always keep smurfed away from your fellow Smurfs now, Empath," Duncan said. "If you truly love Smurfette more than you ever did before, that love's going to show in public more than you would want it to."

"That's very true, Duncan," Tapper said. "Even though the village doesn't need to know all the details, your love for Smurfette as a married Smurf is going to be a lot more noticeable than it's ever been, and you may not be able to smurf it back."

Empath smiled. "This smurf guesses that there's just no hiding this smurf's feelings about Smurfette now. Every moment of my waking hours, this smurf feels like spending it with Smurfette in whatever she's doing. It's like touching that magic orb and wanting more of its power to make me feel so complete."

"It's interesting that you speak of your relationship with Smurfette like it's an addiction, my fellow Empath," Tapper said. "I could only imagine how much restraint you have to smurf upon yourself just to live out a normal day now when you feel like you just want to smurf some more private time with your wife."

"But surely you're not looking to be cured of this feeling you have, aren't you, my boy?" Duncan asked.

"Would this smurf ever want to be cured of that feeling this smurf has for Smurfette?" Empath said. "There's just no amount of words to describe what being alone and intimate with Smurfette even feels like. Maybe someday this smurf might be able to find the words to express those feelings, but right now..."

"You do not need to worry about a loss for words with that experience, Empath," Tapper said. "We will simply accept the fact that you truly enjoyed the moments you had with Smurfette, and I will pray that you will have many more of those private moments together."

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